How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction in a Marriage
September 17, 2024
4 mins
If erectile dysfunction — or even anxiety about it — is affecting your relationship, don’t worry. ED impacts about 50% of men over 40, and for married men, it can strain more than just the sexual aspect of a relationship. It often leads to a loss of intimacy, self-esteem issues, anxiety, or depression, which can further stress the relationship and potentially conceal underlying marital issues.
However, ED doesn’t spell the end of a relationship. Open communication and a proactive approach to intimacy, combined with effective treatment, can help restore a satisfying sex life. By addressing these challenges together and seeking professional help, couples can navigate this issue and strengthen their relationship.
What is Erectile Dysfunction?
Erectile dysfunction is the medical term for difficulties related to achieving or maintaining an erection that's firm enough for sexual activity. Achieving an erection involves the brain, hormones, emotions, nerves, muscles, and blood vessels.
An issue with any of these many important physiological systems can make it harder to get or keep an erection.
While not being able to achieve an erection occasionally isn't generally cause for concern, if ED becomes a frequent occurrence you may want to consider speaking with a doctor – especially since erectile dysfunction can be a symptom of another underlying medical condition.
What Causes Erectile Dysfunction?
The process of getting an erection is delicate and complex. While there is no single "reason" for erectile dysfunction, there are many contributing possibilities, mostly related to your cardiovascular system. Because an erection requires great blood flow, anything that impedes your body's ability to properly deliver blood where it needs to be can lead to ED.
Some of the most common causes of erectile dysfunction include:
Cardiovascular diseases
High blood pressure (hypertension)
Diabetes
Chronic kidney or liver disease
Conditions associated with symptoms of low testosterone
Alcohol or substance abuse
Tobacco use
Mental health conditions (stress, anxiety, depression)
Medication side effects (antidepressants, blood pressure treatments)
Parkinson’s disease
Peyronie’s disease
Surgeries or injuries to the pelvis or spine
What is the Emotional Impact of Erectile Dysfunction?
Sex and intimacy play a crucial role in most marriages, deepening bonds and enhancing feelings of connection. When erectile dysfunction disrupts this aspect of a relationship, it can lead to emotional strain for both partners. Research shows that ED can cause men to feel depressed, frustrated, and less confident, and may lead them to withdraw from their spouses. A 2016 review revealed that partners of those with ED may feel confused, anxious, and insecure, even suspecting infidelity.
While sex is important, it’s not the sole foundation of a lasting relationship. Love, empathy, support, and communication are crucial for sustaining a bond. ED is common, particularly as men age or due to factors like smoking and diabetes. It's essential to address ED openly with your partner rather than hiding it, which can lead to misunderstandings and increased anxiety. Miscommunication may lead your partner to question your fidelity or attractiveness.
Discussing ED early can prevent misunderstandings and reduce anxiety. Open communication allows for empathy and support, helping both partners navigate this challenge together. Anxiety and stress can also contribute to intermittent ED, a common issue that often resolves on its own. Addressing the root causes of stress and developing alternative ways to connect intimately can alleviate some of the pressure.
By communicating openly and finding creative solutions to maintain intimacy, you can overcome the challenges of ED and strengthen your relationship.
Tips for Dealing with Erectile Dysfunction Together
The most important thing to keep in mind is that erectile dysfunction is common and treatable. Several highly effective prescription medications are available affordably, with minimal side effects.
As you consider prescription treatment, it’s important to also remain open, understanding, and supportive in your relationship. There are a variety of medical treatments and approaches available for erectile dysfunction. The most effective will depend on what's causing the erectile dysfunction in the first place.
Lifestyle changes
Adopting healthier lifestyle habits can be a powerful way to address erectile dysfunction (ED), and involving your partner in these changes can strengthen your relationship and make the process more collaborative.
Exercise together: Engage in regular physical activity as a couple. This not only improves blood circulation and overall health but also serves as a bonding experience. Consider activities like jogging, cycling, or even long walks.
Adopt a healthy diet: Plan and prepare nutritious meals together. A balanced diet can improve cardiovascular health and aid in weight management, both of which are beneficial for sexual function.
Reduce alcohol and quit smoking: Work together to cut back on alcohol and quit smoking. These changes can enhance sexual performance and overall health. Supporting each other through these adjustments can make the process easier and more effective.
By making these lifestyle changes together, you not only address the factors contributing to ED but also strengthen your relationship through shared goals and support.
Prescription medications
The most well-established and widely used treatments for erectile dysfunction include Viagra® (sildenafil) and Cialis® (tadalafil). These prescription medications enhance blood flow to the penis, facilitating firmer and longer-lasting erections. Proven effective for many men, they are generally safe for ongoing use when prescribed by a healthcare provider.
While these treatments do not offer a permanent cure for ED, they can significantly assist in achieving and sustaining an erection sufficient for sexual activity.
It’s important to note that these medications can interact with various other drugs, particularly those used for high blood pressure and nitrates. Therefore, they may not be suitable for everyone.
How Rex MD Can Help
Erectile dysfunction is frustrating and challenging to experience alone, but it can be even harder to deal with when married. It’s important for both partners to recognize that ED is a common occurrence for men (especially as they age) and working collaboratively and openly is the best path to resolving the issue and deepening their romantic bond. Understanding and treating root causes (whether physical or mental) with the help of a clinician can help, and effective prescription ED medications are one of the most effective ways to jumpstart intimacy in the marriage once again.
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