ED Pills

Women and ED: 5 Things to Do, 3 to Avoid

October 6, 2022

Understanding erectile dysfunction can be challenging for female partners of guys dealing with this common issue.

Unable to experience the issue first-hand, and recognizing how sensitive the topic can be, women don’t always know how to respond or talk to their partners when ED happens. 

Additionally, misconceptions and myths about erectile dysfunction make it even more difficult to understand without some meaningful research into the subject. For the uninformed female partner, it’s hard to know how best to support your romantic partner.

In fact, ED is incredibly common, affecting over 50% of men over the age of 40. And it’s not just an older man’s issue: estimates are that 20% of guys over 20 have experienced ED.

Be supportive of your romantic partner with these tips and tricks to dealing with this common happening.

What Is Erectile Dysfunction?

Erectile dysfunction is the medical term for when a man has challenges achieving or maintaining an erection that’s firm enough for sex. Although clearly related to sexual activities, erectile dysfunction has more to do with broad wellness and health factors than simply the reproductive system.

Erectile dysfunction occurs most commonly as a symptom of an underlying physical condition, but it can also be the result of mental health conditions too. 

Erections occur through a series of physiological reactions in the body that require a combination of both mental (arousal) and physical (blood flow) elements. Issues with either of these processes can result in erectile dysfunction. 

As such, the most common causes of erectile dysfunction include:

  • High blood pressure
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Atherosclerosis or impaired arterial flow
  • Smoking
  • High cholesterol
  • Nerve damage
  • Drinking or drug abuse
  • Spine or pelvic injury
  • Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Depression
  • Low self-esteem

A frustrated man holding his face

Ways You Can Help When Your Partner Has ED

Reading this, you most likely have a partner that’s experiencing erectile dysfunction. 

While this can create strain on the relationship, it’s also an opportunity to deepen your relationship and truly help your partner understand and overcome the issue. 

ED is eminently treatable with common, safe, and effective medications like Viagra® (sildenafil) and Cialis® (tadalafil).

In many cases, treating the underlying causes of ED can also lead to firmer and stronger erections. Here are a few things you can do to help your partner when ED happens.

1. Be Supportive

Although you’ve been affected, it’s your partner who’s really dealing with it. If this is the first incident of ED, try to remember that while this situation might be disconcerting, it’s almost certainly much more frustrating for him. 

Being supportive, reassuring, and encouraging can go a long way toward helping your partner’s emotional state and even helping resolve the issue. 

Your partner will no doubt appreciate knowing you’re on their side.

2. Experiment in the Bedroom

There are plenty of ways to experience sexual pleasure without a full erection. By broadening your horizons and trying new things, you might be able to continue the intimacy even when erectile dysfunction happens. 

Oral sex and role-playing can provide a new and exciting spark. Using toys such as a vibrator can also help to reduce the need for an erection. 

Whatever you choose to try, getting back into some romance without expectations of penetration can help to take the pressure off your partner. Knowing that he can still give you pleasure, despite not being able to maintain an erection, can help with ego and self-esteem. 

3. Maintain Intimacy

Even if you’re unable to express yourself specifically with penetrative sex with your partner, you should still work to maintain intimacy. Just because traditional sex might not be on the table, you should still find ways to stay close to your partner emotionally. Going on dates or long walks, holding hands, and touch are just some of the ways to stay affectionate and preserve your attachment to your partner. 

4. Focus on Foreplay

Stimulation and arousal are responsible for half the process of an erection. Without an adequate amount of either, achieving or keeping an erection can be harder. It’s possible that your partner is simply not experiencing enough stimulation to stay aroused. 

Talking dirty, sexual games, or experimentation are fun ways that you can prolong foreplay and ensure your partner is sufficiently stimulated. This can help to determine if the issue is mental or physical in nature, making it easier to select the most effective treatment.

5. Communication Is Key

Communication is one of the most important factors in a healthy relationship, and it’s no different for ED. 

If your partner is experiencing erectile dysfunction, it’s helpful to be able to open up to each other and talk honestly about your feelings. It can be difficult for both of you to express your thoughts and feelings when relating to erectile dysfunction, so you may need to bring in a couples counselor or sex therapist to help.   

What To Avoid

There are some real no-nos when it comes to your partners ED, too. 

Remember that while erectile dysfunction might be a frustrating experience, plenty of treatments can resolve the issue effectively. Don’t let a temporary issue like erectile dysfunction permanently damage your relationship. 

1. Don’t Take It Personally

When your partner has erectile difficulties, the first instinct women may have is to blame themselves. 

“Does he not find me attractive?” 

“Doesn’t he love me anymore?”

This is a common response, according to therapists, but it’s counterproductive and likely untrue. 

Erectile dysfunction is often a symptom of a larger medical issue and is infrequently related to feelings of love or attraction in otherwise healthy relationships. 

However, ED can be related to relationship troubles or unhealthy situations. If your relationship is on the rocks, or there’s substantial anxiety about the relationship more broadly, this can manifest in the form of ED. 

Even if relationship anxiety is involved, it’s not “your fault” and a counselor or relationship advisor can help.

2. Don’t Withdraw

When couples have issues with sex, it’s common to withdraw and avoid sexual activities in response. 

This won’t help, and it can even make the issue worse by deepening divides between you and your partner. 

Avoid making sudden changes to your relationship in response to ED, which can lead to resentment and damaged feelings all around. 

3. Don’t Rush or Jump to Conclusion

ED can be multifactorial, and even with effective treatment, it can occur again. Additionally, it can take time to find the most effective treatment for you and your partner.

Rushing to remedy the situation may not help and may make the situation worse. 

What Treatments Are Available For Erectile Dysfunction?

Fortunately, plenty of great options can treat the symptoms of erectile dysfunction. 

Oral Medications for ED

One of the most popular drugs in the world is Viagra® (sildenafil), and it’s often the first treatment recommended for erectile dysfunction. 

This medication helps to relax and expand the arteries and vessels delivering blood to the penis, helping to provide stronger erections that can last longer. It's effective for the majority of men who try it. The effects generally last four to six hours but may vary depending on a few factors like metabolism, dose, and severity of the erectile dysfunction.  

Viagra was the first pill approved for ED, but Cialis® (tadalafil) and Levitra® (vardenafil) work by the same mechanism of action (PDE5 inhibition) and help many men successfully treat ED as well. 

All of these common medications are available online from Rex MD, if appropriate.

Vacuum Pumps for ED

Also known as a penis pump, a vacuum pump is used to draw blood into the penis to create an erection. 

Unlike Viagra, this device doesn’t require arousal or stimulation to work: put it on, pump it, and see the effects.

Once the erection is created, some men use a constriction band or cock ring at the base of the penis to trap blood in the penis and prolong the erection. This ring can be worn for about 30 minutes, and the erection should be firm enough for regular sexual activities during this time. 

Injections for ED 

Injectable medications for ED work similarly to the oral PDE5 inhibitors, though these formulas (usually a combination of alprostadil, papaverine, and phentolamine) are injected directly into the penis

For obvious reasons, this delivery method isn’t preferred by most men, but it can be a highly effective treatment for erectile dysfunction. 

The Takeaway

Erectile dysfunction can be challenging for men and their female partners alike. 

It’s important to remember that no one’s to blame, and being supportive is the most influential thing you can do to help your guy resolve the issue. Being supportive and encouraging your partner to pursue resolutions together can go a long way to eliminating the issue and restoring sexual function. 

Prescription medications like Viagra, vacuum pumps, and injection therapy are just a few options for managing the symptoms of erectile dysfunction. The more supportive, understanding, and patient that you are the more likely your relationship will emerge stronger than ever.

Learn more about ED and how Rex MD can help, with generic Viagra delivered to your door if approved, by clicking here.

Sources

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) | NIDDK.

(ED) Symptoms & Causes of Erectile Dysfunction | NIDDK

The associations of intimacy and sexuality in daily life

Physiology of Penile Erection and Pathophysiology of Erectile Dysfunction

Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction

Lifestyle modifications and erectile dysfunction: what can be expected?.

Vacuum device placed around the penis to treat erectile dysfunction

Injection therapy for impotence