Everything You Need to Know About Oral Sex

August 26, 2024

4 min

Oral sex is a common sexual activity that involves using your lips, mouth, and/or tongue to stimulate your partner’s genitals. Many couples use oral sex to warm up for penetrative sex, but oral stimulation can happen during or after intercourse as well. Plus, it can be just as important and pleasurable as the sexual intercourse itself.

Understanding Oral Sex

Are there any different types of oral sex? 

You may be familiar with some colloquial terms often used to describe it, such as “blow job,” “giving head,” or “going down.” No matter what you’re calling it, oral sex is always referred to whenever sexual pleasure is given to a partner with the mouth, lips, and/or tongue.  

Oral sex also has various medical names. 

Cunnilingus refers to oral sex that is performed on the vagina, vulva, and/or clitoris. Cunnilingus usually involves sucking or licking outside and around the vulva.

Fellatio is oral sex performed on the penis. It generally involves a sucking or licking motion, but it can include using your throat or teeth.

Lastly, anilingus is the medical name for oral sex that involves the anus. This is also called “rimming".” It usually involves licking, sucking, and kissing. But it can involve any other pleasurable act that can make oral-to-anal contact possible. 

Oral sex is all about discovering what works best for you. It can vary from person to person and even from one experience to the next. The key to making it enjoyable is having an open conversation with your partner about what you both like.

What are the benefits of oral sex?

Oral sex can add excitement to your relationship and deepen intimacy between you and your partner. 

Statistics reveal that 82% of women have difficulty climaxing from intercourse alone. This challenge often relates to the distance between the vaginal opening and the clitoris. Interestingly, one in four men have also admitted to faking an orgasm. For many, oral sex is more effective in reaching climax, and people who receive more oral sex are more likely to orgasm frequently. 

During orgasm, your body releases oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” Oxytocin has been shown to enhance relationships by fostering trust, empathy, fidelity, and the processing of bonding cues. It can also positively impact social behaviors by reducing stress and anxiety. Engaging in oral sex with your partner can increase the likelihood of both partners reaching orgasm – and can deepen your connection.

How to Prepare for Oral Sex

Prioritize sexual health and safety

First things first. If you’re sexually active — whether through penetrative or oral sex — it's essential to ensure you're sexually healthy and practicing safe sex. While oral sex can be enjoyable, it does carry risks — such as the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Ensure hygiene and health precautions

You should maintain proper hygiene before engaging in oral sex to minimize its STD risks. Both partners should inspect their genitals for any signs of sores, cuts, or irritations, as these can increase the likelihood of transmitting infections. You should also make sure that your mouth and gums are healthy. Avoid brushing your teeth immediately before performing oral sex, as this can cause small cuts in the mouth and increase the risk of infection.

Communicate and ask for consent

Before trying anything new, it's important to have an open conversation with your partner. Discuss how you want to use verbal and nonverbal cues to ensure ongoing consent. It's normal to feel nervous. Consider setting the mood with a massage, lighting candles, or creating an intimate atmosphere in other ways.

How Do You Give a Man Oral Sex?

The glans (or the tip of the penis) is a major pleasure point for many people with penises, as it contains numerous nerve endings. This makes it highly sensitive to stimulation. 

Begin with the lipstick technique

Despite what you may have seen in porn, you may not want to put his entire penis in your mouth immediately. Start with the lipstick technique to create exciting sensations. This means using your hand to run the head of the penis along the outline of your lips, before putting it into your mouth.

Use a rhythmic motion

Grip the base of your partner’s shaft and move your hand and mouth in a rhythmic motion. Adjust this motion based on your partner’s preferences. Let him tell you when to quicken your motion or when to slow it down. 

Explore other sensitive areas

The frenulum (located on the underside of the penis) is another highly sensitive area due to the bundle of nerves it contains. You can stimulate it by flicking it with your tongue or circling the head of the penis slowly. 

Another sensitive area is the testicles. Just before the climax, you can gently tug on your partner’s testicles and intensify the experience for him.

Protect your partner’s comfort

Try wrapping your lips around your teeth while performing oral sex to avoid hurting your partner.

Communicate and adjust

Listen to your partner to understand what works and what doesn’t. If necessary, make adjustments.

How Do You Give a Woman Oral Sex?

Many men believe that giving a woman perfect oral sex is instinctive. However, there's always room for improvement – especially when it comes to mastering oral sex.

Set up a comfortable position

Start by getting your partner into a comfortable position, possibly with pillows under her back and hips for support.

Incorporate full-body touches

Remember that sexual pleasure involves more than just the genitals. While performing oral sex, touch your partner the way she likes. This may include light hair pulling, nipple massage, or gentle scratching along her torso.

Use techniques

A classic technique for performing oral sex on the vulva is to "write" the ABCs with your tongue. However, the most important thing in this technique is to pay attention to which letters or movements your partner enjoys the most. Another approach is to envision her vulva as a clock and note which "times" are her favorites.

Focus on the clitoris later

While the clitoris is a key part of sexual satisfaction for many women, you may want to avoid giving it all the attention at the beginning. Consider starting elsewhere and focusing on the clitoris toward the end.

Use different techniques

Licking, sucking, nibbling, kissing, and even light biting all create different sensations. For example, using a flat tongue covers more area, while using the tip provides more intensity. Consider saving the latter for later. Don’t rely solely on what you think works. Instead, ask your partner what she enjoys.

If you need a break, take it

The duration of oral sex can vary depending on your partner's preferences and your own. It may last 10, 20, or even 30 minutes. If you need a break, shift your focus to something else, like kissing or massaging other parts of her body.

How Do You Give Oral-Anal Sex (Rimming)?

Rimming – also known as oral-anal sex – gets its name from the focus on stimulating the outer edges of the anus (the rim). The anus is packed with nerve endings that are very sensitive, and licking and swirling your tongue around these areas can provide pleasurable sensations.

Accept that it’s more common than you think

While it was once considered a weird kink, a 2019 survey of over 700 heterosexual adults found that nearly 27% of women and 13% of men had received rim jobs in the last three months.

Ask for your partner’s consent

Before you try rimming, be sure to ask for your partner’s consent. Once your partner gives you the green light, you can start experimenting.

Start with a massage

You can start by massaging around the rim and slowly make your way toward the anus with gentle movements.

Use your tongue

• Swirl: Swirl the tip of your tongue in a circle around the opening of the anus.

• Flick: Flick the tip of your tongue up and down just over the opening.

• Lick: Soften your tongue and lick up and down the entire anus.

Add creativity

Whether you have a penis or a vagina, there are many ways to experiment with the back door. Rimming can be creative. If you start lying on your back, you might add some creativity by giving facesitting a try.

Can You Get STIs from Oral Sex?

STIs can spread through contact with bodily fluids. Since oral sex involves close contact and exchange of bodily fluids, STIs can be spread through oral sex. 

Herpes

One of the most frequently spread STIs during oral sex is genital herpes. It can be transmitted through vaginal, oral, or anal contact with someone who has the disease. It’s highly contagious, and it can be even more contagious during an active outbreak. The most common symptoms of herpes are the blister-like sores on or around the genitals. These sores can spread to thighs, buttocks, or other nearby areas. While herpes is not curable, symptoms can be managed with medication.

Gonorrhea

Another frequent STI spread by oral sex is Gonorrhea — a highly contagious bacterial infection. It can spread through sexual contact with the vagina, penis, anus, or mouth of the person with the disease. Most people with this infection don’t show symptoms. However, when symptoms do appear, they may include painful bowel movements, itching or burning during urination, or discharge from the penis in white, green, or yellow. Gonorrhea is treatable, but if it’s left untreated, it may cause infertility. While this is more common in females, it’s possible in males as well.

Syphilis 

Syphilis is another bacterial infection that can be spread through oral sex. It spreads through vaginal, oral, penile, anal, or skin contact with syphilis sores. While some people with syphilis do not show symptoms, some people may have sores. These sores may be incredibly small and hard to notice. Syphilis is treatable, but if not treated, it can cause serious complications and affect multiple organs and systems — including the brain, nerves, liver, heart, blood vessels, bones, and joints.

Other possible infections

While these STIs aren’t as commonly transmitted as herpes, gonorrhea, or syphilis, they can still be spread through oral sex.

• Chlamydia spreads through vaginal, oral, penile, or anal contact with an infected person. Many people do not show symptoms. But when they do, symptoms may include genital itching or burning, along with difficulty or pain while urinating.

• HIV is transmitted when bodily fluids containing infection come into contact with another person’s bloodstream. If you have open sores, or gum diseases in the mouth, the disease can enter your bloodstream during oral sex. This can also be possible if your partner has menstrual bleeding or bleeding gums. 

• Pubic lice are tiny insects that feed on the blood and live in the pubic hair. They can be transferred during oral contact.

• Genital warts are lumps and bumps on or near genitals which are caused by HPV. If the mouth or throat comes into contact with a genital wart, it can be transferred through oral sex.

• Hepatitis B and C are viruses that attack the liver. They may cause acute liver failure or chronic liver problems. They can be contacted during oral sex if the partner has bleeding gums, genital sores, or menstrual bleeding.

How Can I Prevent Infections During Oral Sex?

Remember, most of these infections are asymptomatic in many people, and getting tested may be the only way to know if you or your partner is infected. Be sure to get tested regularly to reduce the risk of infection, and encourage all your partners to do the same. If your partners have a visible outbreak, encourage them to get treated — and be sure to avoid unprotected sex. Using barrier methods — such as condoms or dental dams — can help reduce the risk of transmission.

For fellatio (mouth-to-penis contact), you can use a non-lubricated latex condom or a plastic condom if your partner is allergic to latex. For cunnilingus (mouth-to-vagina contact) and anilingus (mouth-to-anus contact), try using a dental dam or cutting open a condom to create a square barrier to place between your mouth and your partner’s genital or anal area to help prevent STIs.

How Can Rex MD Help?

Just like penetrative sex, oral sex carries the risk of STIs – and herpes is one of the more common infections spread this way. 

While there is no cure for herpes, medication can ease the itchy and often painful symptoms and lower your chances of giving this virus to your sexual partners. 

Rex MD offers effective treatments for herpes, helping you manage symptoms and suppress outbreaks. Whether you're dealing with cold sores or other symptoms, Rex MD can help to relieve your discomfort.

Consult with a healthcare provider from the comfort of your home.

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