Erectile Dysfunction

How Sex Drive Changes As You Age

August 01, 2021

4 mins

As we age, our sex drives naturally change and evolve in a variety of ways. But just because sex might be a little different doesn’t mean that your pleasure or interest in sex will change too. Plenty of older men and women enjoy the pleasure and romantic intimacy that come with sex well into their later years.

That said, your body will change as you grow older, and couples may experience certain challenges in both their sex drive and sex life.

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How Your Sex Drive Will Change

One of those unavoidable parts of aging is the growth and eventual decline of your sex drive. As we grow older, men's and women's sex drives can change dramatically. Here's a rough timeline of what your sex drive may look like over the years.

Early Adulthood

During our teen years we experience tremendous changes as a result of puberty. Young men are veritably steeped in testosterone, and young women in estrogen. It's not all fun and games, as major hormone changes can bring with them neurological, mood, and of course physical shifts as well. The growth and activation of sexual organs, height increases, voice changes, and hair growing in new places are just a few examples of these wild, pubescent changes.

It's when this period is over, and we make the transition from teenager to young adult, that we enter into our most prime and fertile sexual days.

During this early adulthood phase (20s and 30s) men experience their highest testosterone levels. Testosterone is a primary driving force behind men's sex drive, thus this too is typically at its highest during men's 20s. Men are also generally their most anxious about sex during this period, primarily due to a lack of experience. This apprehensiveness or performance anxiety is one of the leading causes of erectile dysfunction in younger men, which almost 10% of men report experiencing during these years.

For women, their early adult years are similar, though with a few key differences. For example, women are typically their most fertile from their late teenage years through their late 20s. They tend to be more selective with romantic partners compared to men of the same age. So while male sex drive increases when they are their most fertile, scientists have found that around the time that a female's fertility begins to decline in her late 20s and early 30s, it is sometimes then that sexual desire increases most.

Middle Age

On average, men reach peak testosterone levels around the age of 25 and stay around this level for the next decade or so. Once a man reaches 35, however, testosterone levels begin to decrease by about 1% every year, on average. The decline may be even faster in some men. While not exactly a one-to-one connection, lower levels of testosterone tend to align with a lower overall sex drive and desire. Along with this natural decline, stress related to jobs, family and other commitments typical of middle adulthood can have a negative confluence on a man’s sex drive and their interest in sex.

While men typically start to experience a downswing in their sex drive, this is the period of time when women sometimes experience a dramatic spike in their own libido and sex drive. This period of time for a women is sort of a “sweet spot” for intimacy in general. As a young adult they are at their most fertile, meaning that sex is more likely to result in pregnancy, but as they age this changes, with a significant effect on sex drive. With this in mind it should come as no surprise that women between the ages of 27 and 45 are estimated to experience their most frequent and intense sexual fantasies when compared to those of older and younger women. As a result, this time period is when women are having more sex overall according to some data, and are more likely to engage in sex much earlier in a relationship than they might have before.

Golden Years

Believe it or not, many men actually have an increased sex drive as they get into their golden years and the stress and pressure of raising a family and career is finally lifted. Unfortunately for older guys, the risk of erectile dysfunction also increases after the age of 50.

It’s not age itself that causes ED, but health conditions that frequently crop up during this time period often have ED as a symptom. Diabetes and cardiovascular conditions present around this age, and sometimes ED is a side effect of medications taken for these or other health conditions, all of which can affect sex life and performance.

Likewise women may experience similar reduced pressure during their golden 50s and 60s. When women hit their later years they may experience a decreased fear of getting pregnant (conscious or otherwise), which may help to boost their interest in sex. As they get closer to menopause and estrogen levels begin to drop significantly, this can slow their sex drive. In addition, it’s common for women in menopause to experience anxiety, weight fluctuations, sleeping problems, and hot flashes, all of which may dampen their sex drive.

Most Common Issues That Influence Sex Drive

As you continue to grow older, a host of issues can have a negative impact on your sex life. Luckily, there are solutions available to help to treat most of these common occurrences.

Erectile Dysfunction

Easily the most common and well known problem for older men is erectile dysfunction. It’s possible for some men to completely lose their ability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sex; however, it often results in a longer time to achieve an erection or a weaker erection too. Some of the reasons that men might experience erectile dysfunction include:

Declining testosterone levels
A decrease in the flow of blood to the penis, frequently due to cardiovascular medical conditions
Impaired nerve function, often a result of diabetes

The most common reasons for erectile dysfunction are related to health broadly. Heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes are common culprits; various surgeries and treatments for prostate cancer can have an impact on a man’s ability to achieve an erection, too. While there is nothing that can truly prevent erectile dysfunction, living as healthy of a lifestyle as possible is the best prevention method. For example, routinely exercising, eating a well-balanced diet, and eliminating bad habits like smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol all greatly reduce your overall risk of experiencing erectile dysfunction. Should these prove insufficient to prevent the onset of erection-related issues, there are plenty of treatments that can get the job done. These include:

Oral prescription medications. Drugs such as Viagra® (sildenafil), Cialis® (tadalafil), and Levitra (vardenafil) have overwhelmingly turned the battle against erectile dysfunction since the 90's when they were first introduced. These medicines help by dilating the blood vessels in your penis and removing the body's normal braking process, which allows more blood flow into the penis and a much stronger and longer lasting erection. PDE5 inhibitors like these are effective in the majority of men who try them.
Penis pumps. Penis pumps are a mechanical, manual way to get an erection. A penis pump involves putting a cylinder over the penis and pumping the air out of the device to create a vacuum. This pulls blood into the penis, causing are erection, after which a penis ring is typically placed around the base of the penis to help maintain the erection. Penis pumps are effective for many men.
Injected prescription medications. Although less common, there are men that do not respond well to erectile dysfunction medications or may not be able to take them alongside other prescriptions or health conditions. Whatever the case, one alternative is penile injections directly into the penis. A tiny needle injected into the base or side of the penis delivers these particular medicines. This technique is effective for most men, including those experiencing serious health issues like diabetes.

Low Sex Drive

Lots of people simply lose their sex drive over time as libido diminishes. There are several issues that can cause this decline in libido, including:

Chronic health issues, like diabetes or heart disease
Psychological issues, like depression, stress, or anxiety
A reduction or fluctuation in various sex hormones in the body
Side effects of medications

Luckily, there are quite a few ways for guys to increase their sex drive and libido, depending on the reason. Some of the most common approaches to regaining your sex drive are:

Getting more exercise. One way to increase your libido is by partaking in more physical exercise, like running, walking, swimming, and even yoga.
Get more sleep. One research study noted that the longer women slept, the higher their sexual desire the following day.
Use aphrodisiacs. Yohimbe and eurycoma longifolia are two herbal aphrodisiacs that might help increase sex drive in men. Other foods that can have a similar effect include raw oysters, strawberries, and dark chocolate.
Sex therapy: Consulting a sex therapist may help with a variety of sex-related or even relationship issues.
Testosterone therapy: When older men underwent testosterone therapy in one study, they were found to have regained some of their lost sex drive.

Vaginal Dryness

For women, sexual arousal becomes more complex when they age, and a common result is that they aren’t able to produce an adequate amount of lubrication for comfortable sex. This is known as vaginal dryness, and it's most commonly the result of a decrease in estrogen levels, typically after they've experienced menopause. This reduction in lubrication may result in the vagina losing some of its elasticity, which when combined with friction, can lead to an unpleasant sexual experience for both partners. The two most effective methods with dealing with vaginal dryness are:

Hormone therapy: In order to directly address the issue, estrogen creams or tablets may provide relief for some women. However, it should be noted that hormone therapy may also increase a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer, stroke, or heart disease. It’s best to consult a doctor before undergoing any changes to hormones.
Lubricants. There are plenty of over-the-counter artificial lubricants available that can directly eliminate issues involving vaginal dryness. Couples may find lubrication to be a fun or intimate addition to their romantic experiences.

The Takeaway

As we age, we inevitably experience changes to our sex drive. It’s a natural part of the aging process. While this process will affect everyone differently, there are plenty of ways to combat its effects, including medications and lifestyle changes.

Whatever's causing changes in your sex drive or sex life, there are plenty of ways to get things back on track. ED medications might be one, and with Rex MD, getting prescription ED medications from home is now easier than ever. Fill out a short medical questionnaire and select your medication, then a Rex MD clinician evaluates your condition. If approved, your meds are delivered to your door with 2-day free shipping.

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