How to Prepare for Anal Sex

May 29, 2024
4 mins

Whether you’re interested in trying anal sex, or you’ve tried it but it didn’t go as you’d expected, Rex MD is here to give you all the information you need to prepare for this exciting (and often intimidating) sex position. 

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What Should I Expect From Anal Sex?

There are a lot of misconceptions about anal sex. For one, that it's extremely painful and messy, but that doesn’t need to be true if you’ve prepared for the moment.

Another misconception is that only women and gay men can be on the receiving end of anal sex. Any man – regardless of his sexuality – can enjoy anal sex because men can orgasm from their prostates. Prostate orgasms happen when the prostate is stimulated from inside the anus or from the perineum – the space between the anus and the scrotum. 

And while anal sex may seem intimidating because of penile penetration, there are ways to enjoy anal sex that don’t involve penile-anal penetration. Anal play can involve fingers, sex toys, or a partner’s tongue. There is no right or wrong way to have anal sex.

Is bleeding or pain normal?

If it's your first time having anal sex as the receiving partner, you may experience some pain or slight bleeding afterward. This is not uncommon, but it's also not typical.

This is typically due to small anal fissures or tears, which can be very painful but generally heal on their own without medical intervention. To avoid this, be sure to use lube liberally, slow down, and communicate with your partner about your comfort level. 

Will there be poop?

It may be surprising to learn that poop is not actually stored in your rectum. Feces are stored in your colon, which is located higher up so it won’t be reached during anal sex – and besides, a tight band of muscle is keeping it safe up there.

It's highly unlikely that you'll poop during anal sex, but it’s possible that you could run into a small amount of fecal matter. If that’s something you’re uncomfortable with, there are some things you can do to try and prevent it next time:

  • Poop before sex

  • Use an enema

  • Eat healthy so your bowel movements are regular 

Is it supposed to feel good?

Many people can feel pleasure during anal sex, but men especially since the prostate is an erogenous zone in men. This being said, sexual preferences differ person to person, and not everyone will enjoy anal play. 

How Should I Prepare for Anal Sex?

Discuss trying anal with your partner

It’s important to have open communication with your partner when considering or engaging in anal sex. Whether it’s you or your partner who is interested in trying anal, make sure you are both feeling comfortable about before, during, and after having anal sex. 

Remember, even if you showed interest in anal sex but are starting to feel nervous, you don’t have to continue. Listen to your body and be open with your partner about the way you are feeling.

Learn about anal hygiene

Sex can get messy, regardless of it being anal or not. But with anal, there’s a chance you may see some fecal matter. 

As the receiver or “bottom” there are some basic anal hygiene steps you can take to help you feel clean and confident before anal play. 

Focusing on cleaning your anus in the shower or using unscented baby wipes are both effective and easy basic hygiene options. Showering together beforehand can also help get you both in the mood.

Anal douching is also an option before anal sex. This is typically done an hour or two before sex and involves gently squirting a small amount of water or saline solution into the rectum, holding it briefly, and then expelling it. This can help remove any fecal residue. 

While showering is often enough, douching can give you extra peace of mind knowing that you’re completely clean down there, but it's entirely optional.

If you’re doing the penetrating or using your fingers at all, be sure that you are taking the same hygienic steps you would before sex and that your nails are short and filed so as to not accidentally scratch your partner. 

Practice anal training

Anal training can help the bottom partner learn how to relax their anal sphincter – or butthole. The point of this relaxation is to better enjoy penetration. 

To do this, you can gradually insert a finger (and eventually more) into the anus. Another method is using a toy designed for anal play, like the butt plug. There are different size butt plugs and they can be made of glass or silicon.

While it’s possible to insert other sex toys into your anus, butt plugs are the safest, as they were specifically designed for anal play. With normal sex toys, you may run the risk of getting the toy stuck in the anus in a position

Gather your supplies

The two most important items to have during anal sex are lube and condoms. Toys can definitely add to the fun, but they aren’t necessary. 

Condoms are extremely important for penis to anus penetration, as STDs can be easily transmitted from partner to partner. Be sure to get tested regularly, especially if you are not in a monogamous sexual relationship to avoid sexually transmitted diseases.

Lube is necessary for anal play because the anus is not self-lubricating. Any type of lube will do for anal sex, but there are many lubes that are designed specifically for anal play.

Water-based, oil-based, and silicon-based are okay to use, but it’s up to you to decide which one you prefer.

  • Water-based lube has the advantage of being easier to wash off of clothes and sheets and is compatible with silicone sex toys

  • Silicone is often preferred for anal sex because it lasts longer before absorbing into the skin and tends to be thicker, but it isn’t compatible with silicone toys

  • Oil-based lubes work well but can be staining and aren’t compatible with latex condoms

Start with foreplay

Foreplay is a great way to get you and your partner in the mood for sex. Foreplay for anal sex doesn’t have to revolve around anal play, but touching or kissing near the anus or perineum can help relax the anal sphincter muscle. 

With a lubricated finger, slowly and gently insert a finger and massage inside the anus as you get deeper. If your partner is feeling comfortable, try inserting a second lubed-up finger. 

Once you're warmed up, you can start with penile penetration. Start slowly and gradually increase penetration as the receiving partner feels ready.

Experiment with toys

Sex toys with flared bases are specifically crafted for safe anal play. These can include anal beads, vibrators, and butt plugs. 

There are also toys intended for use by the penetrating partner, such as strap-ons and dildos. The range of options is vast, allowing you to explore what feels best for you and your partner.

Nevertheless, it's wise to exercise caution if considering using a non-purpose-designed anal sex toy. Hospitals often see cases of "rectal foreign bodies," where individuals have inserted household items into the anus and couldn't remove them without medical assistance.

How Rex MD Can Help

Anal sex can definitely seem daunting, and it’s not for everyone. But regardless of if you’re engaging in anal play or not, you want to make sure you can get it up in the bedroom.

That’s why Rex MD helps guys access ED medications like Viagra and Cialis – so you never have to worry about under-performing in the bedroom. 

Just answer some questions about your experience with ED and your medical history – and if you qualify – Rex MD will prescribe you a medication suitable for you. The best part is you won’t have to leave your home, this process is completely virtual and discreet!

Get started today.

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